


Roi de Coeur

by NanakiBH



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, Double Penetration, Fisting, Kakuhou-touching, Kissing, Loud Sex, M/M, Massage, Power Dynamics, Tokyo Ghoul Re timeline, True Love, Valentine's Day, Wet & Messy, kagune stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 20:45:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3354734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the day of lovers, his heart overflowed with his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roi de Coeur

**Author's Note:**

> Written for mm-sannn for the tkg Valentine's Day Exchange. I hope you have a lovely Valentine's Day! Enjoy! ♥

That morning, Kaneki padded into the kitchen, glasses askew on his face, rubbing at his eyes with the back of one hand covered by a long sleeve, catching Tsukiyama off guard before he was able to complete the preparations for their special day. His heart leapt to his throat when he saw Kaneki in such a candid state, but the look he was given in return held no amount of surprise. It still astounded him; the way that Kaneki was able to look at him now without batting an eyelash, as if his presence in their house were natural. Maybe it was. They were letting him stay there, but it still felt strange, his comfort constantly hindered by memories that reminded Tsukiyama of the person he used to be, of the things he had done to Kaneki in the past.

“Where's everyone else?” Kaneki asked, casually walking around him to reach the counter. He stifled a yawn, and his eyebrows lifted when he realized that the coffee had already been made. Thanking him for it, he lifted himself up onto his toes to get his cup from the cupboard above the sink.

“They're out,” Tsukiyama explained, watching Kaneki pour himself a cup of coffee. It was such a simple thing, but it fascinated him, the reality of the domestic, everyday moment he was sharing with him still having not fully sunk in yet.

He made coffee for Kaneki and Kaneki was drinking it.

What he told him was the truth – the children he was in charge of were out of the house – but he neglected to tell him that they were gone because he delicately suggested that they leave for a while. That is to say, he used his wallet to bribe his way to some alone time with Kaneki. This was the first Valentine's Day they would be spending together since they were reunited and he wanted it to be something memorable. Luckily, the children succumbed to his offer quickly. The girl with the pigtails was the fastest to snatch the bills from his hand and start heading for the door. The blond and Kaneki's eye patch doppelganger didn't require too much convincing, but that one who always had a sour face was the one who held out the longest. Tsukiyama was almost certain that he had been stubborn with him on purpose just so he would continue to raise his offer.

The amount he ended up giving him was something he wouldn't be proud to admit, but he didn't regret it. Being alone with Kaneki was worth it.

Closing his eyes for another few seconds, Kaneki tiredly leaned against the counter and took a sip of his coffee to wake himself up. Tsukiyama's eyes carefully watched the way his throat moved as he swallowed, captured Kaneki's eyes with his own as he reopened them.

“Why did they leave? We didn't have any business today. I was hoping we might have a nice time together at home for a change.”

Tsukiyama frowned. “Have you forgotten what day it is, mon cher?”

“Mm?” Kaneki's cup lingered near his lips as he thought. At once, as the realization hit him, he looked more awake. “It's Valentine's Day!”

Hope rose up in Tsukiyama's heart. “Oui! That's right!”

All too soon, weary confusion returned to Kaneki's face as he lowered his cup. “But... Why would the others be out on Valentine's Day?” he puzzled. “D-don't tell me- Don't tell me that they have dates. Have I really been so inattentive that I didn't realize...?”

Tsukiyama was growing weary on his own, exhausted by what a mountain Kaneki was making out of the simplest situation. “You know it's nothing like that. They left so we could have some time together. They're around so frequently, it's rare that we have a moment by ourselves. I thought it... would be nice.”

When he finished, he felt unsure. Bribing them felt like something his old self would have done. Suddenly, he felt presumptuous for thinking that Kaneki would want to spend time with him. After saying that much out loud, he felt overwhelmingly self-conscious.

“That's true,” Kaneki said. His eyes were still a little sleepy, but his smile was soft. Setting down his coffee first, he came closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his head against his chest where Tsukiyama was sure that he would hear the confused pounding of his heart. “Happy Valentine's Day, Tsukiyama-san.”

He was allowed to stay with them. Kaneki allowed him to sleep beside him. No one questioned his presence except for Tsukiyama himself. He couldn't help it, though. Kaneki seemed different now, in a way that made Tsukiyama continually wonder if he were still dreaming. It was strange enough that Kaneki would be involved with the CCG, but it felt even stranger that he and the others he worked with would allow him to stay with them. It was a constant fear of his that he would soon wake up and discover that it really all had been a dream, that he was still laying in his bed at his parents' home.

He was happy, but he felt bad. He didn't like how often he needed to ask Kaneki for reassurance.

Drawing in a shaky breath, he wrapped his arms around him. He felt the warmth of the one against him, spread his fingers out over his back, and pressed his nose to his neck to breathe in his undeniably distinct, familiar scent. His breath must have tickled him, making Kaneki laugh and squirm in his arms.

“You really like my scent, don't you?” Kaneki asked, pulling back to look at him.

There were a lot of things that he did without thinking like that. “I'm sorry. Does it bother you?”

Reaching up, Kaneki cradled his face in his hands and stroked his thumbs over his cheeks, then lifted himself up onto his toes to give him a kiss on the lips. When he settled back down onto his heels, he gave a light laugh at the surprised look he left on Tsukiyama's face. “It's alright,” he said, lifting one hand higher to brush his fingers through the long hair that curtained his profile. “I kind of like it. It's refreshing. It's a very ghoul thing, and I haven't really had the opportunity to interact with other ghouls, being an investigator and all.”

Tsukiyama glanced aside, thinking. “Even if you like having me here, I worry what the rest think. I shouldn't let myself feel so concerned, but I'm sort of... aware of my own helplessness now, you could say.”

He was just one person and the CCG were many. Now that they knew his identity, there were no outs for him. He had knowingly stepped into the enemy's den. His head was as good as theirs.

Yet... Despite his worrying, it still felt worth it for this.

“You'll be okay. They left me in charge of you, so that means that as long as I keep my eyes on you, they won't touch you.” The fingers in his hair twirled, wrapping the length of it around them. Giving Tsukiyama's hair a light tug, he pulled him closer so that Tsukiyama could see the smoldering ember of something devious in his eyes. That kind, sweet side of him that he wore as his public face wasn't a lie, but the part of him that knew how to be cruel, that knew how to command him with a firm hand, hadn't vanished.

Just seeing that familiar look in his eyes made Tsukiyama suddenly feel weak, compelling him to submit, to get on his knees for him or do whatever he wanted. It was a learned response – one that he held onto and hadn't been able to break even after all of their time spent apart. Tsukiyama knew better than to think of Kaneki as a different person, but he recognized that he had changed a lot. It might have been a mistake for him to continue to treat him the same way he treated him before he left, but he didn't know any other way to act. It was impossible for him to stand before him, smelling him, feeling him, and not treat him as the same Kaneki who he'd loved and respected.

...So it went without saying that Kaneki was surprised when this pathetic ghoul laid himself at his feet and asked him to hurt him.

Now, even more than before, he wanted to feel that pain; the one that made Kaneki feel real and there, the one that distracted him from the ache that still lingered in his heart. Only a thousand lashes and a million tender kisses could repair the damage in him.

Without him even saying a word about what he wanted from him, Kaneki had seemed to know, a distant part of him remembering what importance he had to him. Even if his memories were buried in dust, Kaneki had embraced him as if it were the natural thing to do, and Tsukiyama was still grateful for that moment. Indeed, he thought, he would always feel grateful for whatever fate had allowed him to be remembered.

When Kaneki slipped away from his arms, he took his coffee with him and moved to the living room to sit. Excited to see what he thought of the surprise he prepared for him, Tsukiyama hurried along by his side. After just taking his first step into the living room, Kaneki stopped where he stood. With a self-satisfied grin, Tsukiyama watched Kaneki's face to see the way that his eyes widened as he took in the extravagant sight before him. Knowing how much Kaneki enjoyed a quiet moment spent on the living room couch with a book in his hands, Tsukiyama had gone out of his way to decorate Kaneki's favorite place.

“I thought I smelled flowers,” Kaneki said.

On the coffee table sat a grand arrangement of roses and other appropriately-colored flowers. It was so hard for him to choose which ones would be best that Tsukiyama decided to get a little of everything. He could have filled the room with them, but he didn't want it to be _too_ much. There were also a couple wrapped gift boxes and books bound with ribbon sitting alongside the bouquet, so, as it was, he felt like he had probably done more than enough.

But it would never really feel like enough. Kaneki deserved so much, and he wanted him to have everything.

Kaneki sat down on the sofa and gingerly picked up one of the books. “Is all of this for me?” he asked, looking up at him before he let himself untie it.

Amused that he would think he even had to ask, Tsukiyama came around the table and took a seat next to him. Giving a roll of his wrist, he implored him to open his gifts.

“It's just Valentine's Day. This is so much,” Kaneki said. Setting the book in his lap, he leaned forward and grabbed one of the mysterious boxes wrapped in red paper. Sparing Tsukiyama only one more curious glance, he carefully tore into the paper to reveal the box beneath. As Kaneki pulled up the lid, Tsukiyama held his breath and waited anxiously for his reaction to what lay within. “A watch. It's gorgeous,” Kaneki said, his voice quiet as he admired its stylish metal face and the timepiece's slender hands. Removing it from the velvet interior of the box, he paused before putting it on and glanced aside, looking somewhat embarrassed. “Did you realize that I broke my other watch? Is that why?”

Even the smallest things couldn't go unnoticed by Tsukiyama's watchful eye. He wanted to know everything about Kaneki, so he was always paying attention. “I was going to replace it for you anyway, so it really isn't as much as you think. There's still much more I'd like to do for you. It's the day for lovers, you know. Any day of the year, I'd be happy to give you the world, but today is the day when I should be allowed to express that wish to you.”

It looked a little silly for him to be wearing the watch with his pajamas, but Tsukiyama admired the way it perfectly fit his wrist. Kaneki held his arm out in front of himself and held it up to have a nice look at it and smiled.

“Now I suppose I won't have an excuse to not hurry home to you in the evening, huh?”

“That's right,” Tsukiyama agreed. “Though, you know, Kaneki-kun, even if you didn't have a watch, you should still be mindful of how much time you spend at work. I'm sure they appreciate the overtime, but I don't want you to overwork yourself. It's... not worth it.”

He didn't mean to ruin the atmosphere by saying something serious. Hearing his words, Kaneki got a faraway look in his eyes, and he slowly lowered his hand, looking now at no particular thing.

“You're right,” he said quietly.

“I could get you whatever you wanted, but, no matter how much money I have, I can't buy you time. The time you have is time you should be spending your own way – for yourself.” He already promised him that he wouldn't try to force him to remember his past. Even still, Tsukiyama wished that he could remind Kaneki of the choices he made in the past so that he wouldn't repeat them. But he needed to hold his tongue and find other ways to guide him towards better decisions. “I hope you'll consider that.”

“I will,” he said with a shaky sort of confidence that indicated that he may have been recalling something specific.

There was a certain air about him, one that surrounded him every now and then and made him look fragile. Tsukiyama wanted to reach out to touch him, to protect him from whatever he was thinking, but he worried that the same hand might cause him to shatter. Kaneki wasn't that delicate of a person in reality, but moments like these made Tsukiyama feel like he needed to keep him safe.

That thick, tense feeling hung around even when Kaneki looked up at him. Realizing that he'd been caught with his thoughts exposed on his face, he tried to laugh it off playfully. His laugh was a beautiful thing normally, but the laugh that he used to cover up his pain made Tsukiyama's heart twist. He used to always rely on him. Even if he hadn't said it, he felt like everything would be fine as long as he stayed near Kaneki because Kaneki was strong. He was strong and he only kept getting stronger. The day when he realized that Kaneki wasn't really as strong as he tried to appear, Tsukiyama felt like he'd lost something, afraid that he'd misplaced his trust.

Back then, he had been so stupid. Even though he felt all of those things, he hadn't realized how much he needed Kaneki for the person he was. Now, though he still needed him, he wanted to be strong for him, too. Perhaps it made him love him more, realizing that Kaneki was just a person at his simplest.

He was just a person; human and ghoul, yet somehow more than either. Even with his flaws and his imperfect memory, Tsukiyama still loved him with every bit of his heart. For as long as they could be together, he wanted to be held by him and hold him in return because he knew that Kaneki couldn't be strong alone.

“Tsukiyama-san.”

Realizing that he must have looked like he was spacing out, Tsukiyama turned to look at him. When he did, Kaneki cupped his face in his hands and pulled him down for a kiss. The flavor of fresh coffee played with Kaneki's own taste as he lazily drew his tongue over Tsukiyama's. He hadn't expected Kaneki to suddenly give him such a deep kiss, but he eagerly sunk into it, indulging in his sweet taste and the feeling of his warm breath against his lips. Kaneki leaned against him, placing a hand on his thigh, resting his other arm around his shoulders, holding him. Being so close, Tsukiyama knew that it must be alright for him to touch him, so he carefully slid his arms around Kaneki's waist.

He thought that he might be able to feel the things that Kaneki had been thinking about in his kiss, but none of that was there. Everything just felt nice instead; pleasant and relaxing, the way that he wanted things to be. It might have still been a long time before they could reach a time when every day could be so gentle and calm, but he hoped for that now.

Kaneki stayed close even after their lips parted, their foreheads resting together.

“For such a nice gift, I feel like I have to repay you,” Kaneki murmured, pretending to think even though the answer was clear.

Tsukiyama didn't need him to repay him. For the man who had money, who had everything it could buy, there was only one thing that Kaneki could give him. Whenever Tsukiyama thought about it, he felt so stupid. He read a thousand books and somehow never realized that the thing he'd always been searching for was the same thing that so many of those books' hapless heroes set out on their travels to find. The thing he wanted was a formless thing that Kaneki had in abundance, that he could give to him without spending a cent and without losing anything.

“This is why you wanted them away from the house, isn't it?” Kaneki asked, teasingly playing his fingers along Tsukiyama's shoulder.

That was part of it. “Hm? What sort of vulgar man do you take me for?” he asked coyly, giving him a look that was anything but shy. “I wanted to spend time with you, just like I said. I am, however, feeling very eager to please you today. I'll be happy to do whatever you'd like. This isn't about me.”

Kaneki smirked. “It's not? I think you just contradicted yourself. If making me happy makes you happy, then I'd say that this is just as much about you as it is about me.”

“Is that bad?” Tsukiyama asked, stealing a quick kiss for himself. “I think that Valentine's Day should be an equal opportunity day between us. Girls give boys chocolate on Valentine's Day and it isn't until White Day that we would be able to return the favor. So how do you suggest we celebrate it if we're both men? Moreover, we can't have chocolate.”

“That is troubling,” Kaneki agreed. “I didn't really have a reason to think about it until now.”

“You see, that's why I brought flowers the way they do in France. I considered making something sweet for you to eat, but... Well, I had the feeling that you might not appreciate where I acquired my ingredients.”

Kaneki laughed uneasily at the thought of food. “Yeah, that was a wise decision. You should leave food to me.”

That was too bad. Though Tsukiyama had all but given up his interest in food, he still enjoyed the way that Kaneki's face looked when he tasted something good. He loved seeing his face covered in red, blood dripping down his jaw as he licked his lips, sucked his fingers clean, dug in for another bite...

With so many eyes on them now, it was impossible to go out and claim a nice meal. Tsukiyama put up with what they were given, but it wasn't the fresh, flavorful kind of meat he used to crave. If he wanted to see Kaneki enraptured by the taste of blood now, he had to offer him his own body.

Not that that was a problem.

“So? What would you like?” Tsukiyama asked, pulling him a little closer, feeling the warmth from Kaneki's chest through the soft button-down shirt he wore to sleep.

“I thought I already told you. This isn't about me. You said yourself that this should be equal opportunity, so I think I'd rather do something for you. You already do enough for me as it is.” Kaneki stopped to consider the things they had just talked about. “I guess it's all kind of... for both of us, though, isn't it? I'm surprised that I haven't thought about this before. That's odd of me.”

“It's alright,” Tsukiyama said, nosing his cheek, tenderly kissing along his jaw. “I think that's good. It means that you treat me well without even thinking about it. It... makes me really happy to know that it comes just as easily to you as it does for me. If you gave it more thought, I can't even imagine how much more I'd fall in love with you.”

The look that Kaneki gave him, so relaxed and happy, made it easy to forget what three years of separation felt like. It was simple, but it was enough. Kaneki had already given him far more than he could have asked for. He would have been happy to simply stay by him. Even if he had been allowed one minute with him again before fading away, he would have left the world happily. To have him so close, to hold him in his arms, to receive the gentle feelings in Kaneki's eyes this way...

“You tear up so easily. Look at you,” Kaneki laughed, rubbing a thumb next to his eye to pluck a tear before it could fall. “That's nice, though. I'm happy to be with someone who's so honest. Until I met you, I don't think I knew a single person I could really trust. I felt anxious all the time, but now I...” Nervously, he scratched at his cheek, debating whether he wanted to say something that was clearly too embarrassing for him to say out loud.

Being in front of someone who openly showed his tears must have been what made him realize that he could say what he was feeling.

“I still get anxious, and there's still a lot that feels uncertain, but I'm happy. Having you here has made me happy.”

If this were just a dream, then Tsukiyama didn't want to wake up. After the awful mistakes he made in the past, he feared that Kaneki would never be able to trust him. Part of him felt like he didn't even deserve his affection. He promised Kaneki that he wouldn't try to make him remember, but it made him feel like he was sometimes keeping the truth from him.

Would Kaneki still be able to trust him if he knew what he'd done to him before?

Kaneki looked at him knowingly. “Please, Tsukiyama-san. I know you must be thinking about something that happened in the past, but – whatever it was – as long as you feel like I'd be happier not knowing, then I don't mind. The curiosity will kill me, but I'd rather be curious than remember something that might change the way I feel now. I like the way I feel right now. I like who we are now.”

“You're right. I-I'm sorry for bringing down the mood,” he apologized quickly. “Thank you for trusting me, Kaneki-kun. I trust you, too. But I'm sure you already knew that, right?”

“I do,” Kaneki said, voice lowering as he narrowed his eyes in a dark, seductive manner. It had thrilled Tsukiyama when he found that the devious Kaneki still lurked beneath his sweet surface. Kaneki was more in control of himself now, though. He had a leash on that side of himself. It may have only been a short leash, but it made a great difference in the way he treated him. All of his movements were deliberate now; each touch full of meaning and purpose.

With a little more time, he could only imagine what Kaneki would turn into; something even more beautiful, he thought.

Slipping away from him, Kaneki sat back on the couch, resting both of his feet flat on the floor in front of him, leaving his lap open, inviting. “Now, about that repayment... You worked very hard for me this morning, so I think I owe it to you to help you relax. Why don't you fetch me something that will help you _loosen up_ a little?”

Tsukiyama didn't need to ask, knowing what he was referring to. “Right here?” he asked, his only question. So far, because the Quinx were always around, they had to keep everything in the bedroom. Even when they had the time, though, Kaneki often came home exhausted and had to rest, so they had to find the perfect balance to make it happen. At the moment, however, all of their usual obstacles were gone. If Kaneki wanted to do something with him right there in the middle of the living room, there would be no one to stop them.

“Are you going to get it or not?” Kaneki asked, pretending to lose his patience.

Immediately, Tsukiyama shot up from the couch and made a beeline for the bedroom. He quickly thew open the bedside drawer to retrieve what they needed, then returned just as quickly with the tube of lubricant in hand.

“Very good,” Kaneki praised. “Now undress.”

Normally, Tsukiyama wouldn't have thought twice before shedding his clothes at the word, but he had to hesitate in this situation. Somewhat nervous, he looked around the wide, open living room, then looked back to Kaneki who was waiting expectantly.

He asked just one thing: “How much?”

Looking him up and down, Kaneki shrugged loosely. “That's up to you. We have this now, though,” he said, suggesting the lubricant he brought back from the bedroom. “If you want to enjoy your gift, you're going to have to at least remove your pants. As long as the others are busy, you won't have to worry about anyone else seeing us like this. And even if they did, what are you afraid of?”

It was unusual for Kaneki to say something like that. He was hiding it well, but Tsukiyama knew that he was nervous as well. Kaneki cared very deeply about what his subordinates thought of him. If they came home at the wrong time and caught them in a compromising position, Kaneki would never forgive himself. His image would be forever tarnished in the eyes of the ones he was responsible for.

It was exciting.

More importantly, he knew something that Kaneki was probably overlooking. If they had sex in the living room, the Quinx would be able to tell. Even if they cleaned the place up and left no physical trace behind, it would be difficult for them to remove the smell of sex. If any of them came near their room – that tight-faced boy with the sharp nose, especially – they would realize what they were doing together. Considering the fact that he and Kaneki frequently slept in the same room, it was hardly a secret, but the Quinx had thus far made no indication that they were aware of the nature of their relationship. They acknowledged his presence and occasionally showed their curiosity towards him, but they didn't question what he and Kaneki got up to in their own time.

Perhaps it was because they knew he was a full ghoul. The gentle eyepatch one knew that he didn't need to fear him, but he still kept his distance when he was around him, always wary. The girl seemed to have the most open interest in him. It was only a matter of time before she started asking questions.

As long as Kaneki would be okay with it, he would be happy to tell them all about how much he loved their teacher.

They were a lot like Kaneki's children. If he thought of himself as Kaneki's partner, then the things they got up to were only natural. Even parents needed to have their special time. Their love life didn't have to end just because they had children.

There was no reason for them to worry. What was the worst that could happen, really? Rather than lose respect for him, Tsukiyama thought they might respect Kaneki more if they got to see how willingly a full ghoul bowed to him. He would be willing to put himself in that position for him if he wanted.

“It should be alright,” Tsukiyama said, loosening his tie. It fell to the floor in front of Kaneki's feet when it slipped free. To get them to leave the house, he had paid them well, so he expected that they would be gone for at least a number of hours. He and Kaneki should have more than enough time to enjoy themselves, and if one of the little brats happened to return before they were finished, then he would make sure that they knew they'd never see another dollar from him.

When he returned with the flowers that morning, he took off his suit jacket in the kitchen as he prepared the coffee, so he didn't have to worry about that. Leaving his white shirt as it was, he unfastened his belt and slid it out of the loops of his pinstripe pants. He was just casually removing his clothing, not making any great show of it, but Kaneki's eyes were attentively watching every move he made. With Kaneki's eyes on him, Tsukiyama felt his body becoming warmer, his neck and cheeks heating up, glowing with color.

As he stepped out of his pants, he realized that he'd completely forgotten about the underwear he was wearing that day. Kaneki's lips twitched upward when he saw his tight red shorts with little white hearts.

“Those are really cute,” he said.

“Do you really think so?” Tsukiyama asked. Sometimes he wasn't sure what Kaneki really thought of his fashion, but they seemed to share a similar taste in undergarments for some reason.

He nodded. “Yeah, I like them. In fact, I think you should leave those on for now and come over here just like that. That's a good look on you.”

Without even realizing what he was doing, Tsukiyama had unintentionally stumbled into the white shirt and underwear look. He loved it when Kaneki woke up looking that way, but he hadn't known that Kaneki would enjoy the look on him, too. Putting a sway in his step, he came closer and laid down over Kaneki's lap the way that he wanted him to. As soon as he made himself comfortable, his hips resting over Kaneki's knees, he felt Kaneki place a palm down on his behind. Resting comfortably on his arms, Tsukiyama looked over his shoulder to watch him, catching the way that he grinned as he splayed his fingers over his backside.

Slipping his fingers under the edge of them, Kaneki gave the elastic a little tug, then let it slap back, making a nice smack against his skin. It was sort of embarrassing, but he was glad that Kaneki enjoyed what he saw.

“Your ass is perfect,” Kaneki said. He laughed when he realized how factually he said it. “Sorry, it's just something I've thought about, but it sounds funny when I mention it out loud. Really, though, it's so nice and round. I might not like all of your pants, but you sure do make them look good.”

Tsukiyama mumbled his thanks and turned his head forward, burying his face in his arms as Kaneki continued to appreciate his ass, kneading it in his palms. It was such a bold touch, massaging the soft muscle firmly, but it felt so erotic. With each rotation of his wrists, he could feel Kaneki's thumbs working closer and closer to his entrance, rubbing over it through the fabric, occasionally pressing against the sensitive spot below it. After just a few moments of that, he was already rubbing his hips against Kaneki's thighs, trying to make his thumbs hit the places that felt good.

It was futile for him to try to get what he wanted on his own, though. In his position, there was nothing he could do to get what he wanted. Realizing what he was up to, Kaneki stopped what he was doing and just held his hands where they were, digging his fingers into his skin.

Whining, Tsukiyama looked back to plead to him with his eyes.

“Hm? What is it? Is that not relaxing enough for you? It looks like you're getting even more worked up, Tsukiyama-san.”

The truth was, he didn't mind being teased. If it were Kaneki, it was alright. With Kaneki, he felt like he was allowed to be whatever he wanted to be. Around him, he didn't feel the pressure to be the proper 'Shuu-sama'. He didn't need to be the Gourmet. He didn't need to be a gentleman. Kaneki had seen through all of those masks and made him question who he was behind them. In the end, he was this; whoever he was when he was with Kaneki. And he felt comfortable with that.

Kaneki accepted him for however weak or disgusting he could be. Even at his lowest, he still looked at him the same way, with that tender expression, like he was looking at something beautiful.

“Well?” Kaneki asked, easing his hold, continuing his earlier, sensual gestures. “You should tell me what you'd like. I want to give you something you'll really enjoy.”

Biting down on a nail, he mumbled, “Your fingers...”

“Hm?” Kaneki leaned closer, pretending like he hadn't heard him well. “What was that? You need to speak clearly.”

He arched his back and his shirt slid up his chest a little, exposing the small of his back. “Your fingers... I want them inside.”

It probably wasn't as much as Kaneki was hoping for, but what he said seemed to amuse him enough to make him do as he wanted. Tsukiyama took in a breath from his nose as he felt Kaneki's fingers slip beneath the waistband of his underwear. He was slow, but he didn't play around, sliding them down over his ass, reaching around to his front to gently free his already semi-stiff cock so he could get them down his thighs. A shiver worked its way up his body as Kaneki pulled them off the rest of the way, leaving him feeling open and exposed in the cool air of the living room.

Glancing up from his arms might have been a mistake. Remembering where they were, he felt his earlier apprehension return, making him feel both excited and nervous. Although he had become a bit of a slut for Kaneki, he was still a very private person. Even if it were unlikely, the thought of being seen by someone else made Tsukiyama's pulse quicken.

“Nice,” Kaneki murmured admiringly.

Putting his face back into his arms, Tsukiyama heard the sound of the lubricant being uncapped. A second later, he felt one of Kaneki's fingers, cold and wet, pressing against his entrance. A feeling that had at first been unusual to him, Tsukiyama had grown to love the feeling, his body immediately yielding to Kaneki's probing finger. Inside, one finger didn't feel like much to him anymore unless Kaneki were aiming for something specific. It was his entrance, tight ring of muscle that Kaneki rubbed against each time he moved his wrist, that really felt good. If he wanted to make him feel even better, then Kaneki needed to give him more.

When he added another finger, Tsukiyama sighed, but it still wasn't enough. It was easy for Kaneki to prepare him now – a little too easy. Each time they had sex, Tsukiyama found himself wanting more. He was grateful for everything that Kaneki gave to him, but he couldn't help what his body craved.

He wanted to feel him. More of him. He wanted to feel stretched and full and used.

Thinking about what he wanted ended up making him completely stiff, which didn't go unnoticed by Kaneki.

“You like that?” he asked, curling his fingers inside of him, angling his hand to nudge the tips of them against his prostate, giving it a few quick jabs.

Tsukiyama held his breath to keep himself from crying out at the sudden spike of pleasure, but he shook his head. “No, I-”

“No?” Kaneki stopped for a moment, becoming serious. “Wait, you really don't like it? You didn't sound like you were just playing coy, you know? Did that hurt?”

He shook his head more insistently. “N-no, it felt good. I liked that. You're extremely good at that, but...”

“But?” Kaneki leaned a little closer to his face to see him.

Too embarrassed to look him in the eye as he said it, Tsukiyama turned his face away. “I want more. Two fingers is nice, but it's not really enough.”

“Three?” Kaneki asked.

Tsukiyama refused to respond.

“Four...?”

A light sweat broke out over his brow.

Kaneki was quiet then, and Tsukiyama began to worry until he felt a third finger being added. He heard the cap of the tube again and felt a bit of the cool, slick substance being squeezed out over the place where Kaneki's fingers disappeared inside of him. “I said I would repay you by giving you what you wanted. If it starts to hurt-”

“I'll tell you to stop,” Tsukiyama assured. Suddenly, his apprehension and embarrassment disappeared, replaced by a new kind of excitement. Already, his body began to respond as he felt Kaneki push in a fourth finger alongside the others, and he rolled his hips in Kaneki's lap, rubbing himself against his thighs. He hoped that he wouldn't mind if he got his pajamas messy. If he got precum on them, he could make it up to him by washing them for him later. “Just keep going. Give me more. I'll take as much as you'll give me.”

“As much as I'll give you, huh?” Kaneki asked, sounding like he was considering something.

Four fingers felt a little awkward, but it was good. It certainly wasn't more than he was used to. Guiltily, while Kaneki was away, he had to find ways to satisfy himself. Gradually, he worked his way up the ladder, going from one size to the next until he was inserting things of a size that reminded him of Kaneki's kagune. So, four fingers wasn't a lot, but they felt strange, Kaneki having to gather them together to make them fit.

That changed when he pushed in a fifth. Tsukiyama's eyes flew open, but he didn't look back, worrying what Kaneki might think of him if he openly told him to keep going, letting him know that he wanted him to push all of them in.

Putting his other hand down on Tsukiyama's hip, using the thumb of that hand to hold him open, Kaneki slowly began to push his gathered fingers inside. He needed to pull them out and nudge them in a few times, but his knuckles eventually slid inside. It wasn't until he noticed how focused and quiet Kaneki was being that Tsukiyama realized how much he noise he was making on his own. Feeling Kaneki so close to having his whole fist inside of him, he was letting out the most lewd noises of encouragement, his hips sunk into Kaneki's lap, his cock pressed tightly between his stomach and Kaneki's thighs.

All too soon, he felt Kaneki's hand disappear, leaving him feeling open and wanting.

“Sorry,” Kaneki said, gently rubbing his backside. Tsukiyama looked over his shoulder and realized what had made him stop. Intending to continue, Kaneki had stopped so he could remove the new watch from his wrist. “Can't keep going with this in the way. Don't want to ruin it by getting lube on it already.”

After he set it on the table, putting it safely out of reach of anything sticky, he used some more of the lubricant on his hand just to be on the safe side. Tsukiyama wouldn't have minded if there were some friction, but it felt incredible when Kaneki reinserted his fingers. He gathered them together to a point and pushed them all in together and his whole hand slipped inside, past his knuckles, past his thumb, right up to his wrist this time.

Once it was all inside, he just kept it there, waiting, listening as Tsukiyama panted and rocked his hips, getting nowhere as he tried to make him move his hand. Kaneki laughed and placed his other hand down on the small of his back. He stroked his skin, silently telling him to relax so he could safely continue without hurting him.

His movements were all slow and cautious, but he was also exploring, paying attention to the reactions he received when he did things like rotate his wrist. Eventually, he realized that he received the best response when he rubbed the curve of his thumb against his inner wall, dragging it over his prostate in a way that Tsukiyama had never felt before. After enough of that, Kaneki had him moaning loudly and twisting his body, his cock leaking a fresh drop of precum with almost every movement of his wrist.

Curious of what Kaneki thought, Tsukiyama looked over his shoulder and found him watching what he was doing with a small smile on his lips.

“You don't think this is weird?” he asked.

Kaneki gave a huff that sounded like a laugh. “'Weird' is a very relative word, especially in _my_ life. Rather than thinking it's strange, all I can think about right now is how good this must feel. I haven't seen you quite like this before.”

That was true. Even back then, Kaneki had never gone this far for him. He had used his kagune, but he hadn't been as concerned about whether it felt good, so he had to take the pain along with whatever pleasure he received. It wasn't that he disliked the pain, but a big part of him at the time had definitely wished that Kaneki would care more about him. He didn't want to be treated like a glass ornament, but he didn't want to be thrown about, either.

But this... This was just right. He loved receiving Kaneki's consideration and affection as he took him to the limits of his desires.

“You're getting it everywhere,” Kaneki laughed, stopping for a second to turn Tsukiyama's hip, making him look at the mess he'd left all over his pant leg.

“Can't help it,” Tsukiyama mumbled, his cock giving an embarrassing twitch as he felt Kaneki looking at him. “You're doing really well. It feels so good.”

Taking his cock into his free hand, Kaneki gave him a few loose strokes. It was good, but it wasn't quite as good as the way he had been making him feel inside. Thinking, Kaneki asked, “Do you want to finish this way, with my hand?”

For a moment, Tsukiyama wasn't even sure how to respond. Was there another way? Was he suggesting that they could do something else?

“What do you have in mind?” he asked.

Pulling his hand out of him, Kaneki dried his fingers on his ruined pajamas and mysteriously began unbuttoning his shirt. “Doing this gave me an idea,” he said. “Well, I know how much you love my cock...”

Tsukiyama practically began salivating at the mention of it.

“But I can think of something even better,” he said, closing his eyes briefly as he finished unbuttoning his shirt. When he shrugged it off and reopened his eyes, Tsukiyama noticed with no small amount of excitement that his left eye had turned. Clearly, he had thought of something good and Tsukiyama had an idea of what it included.

Eager, he sat up in Kaneki's lap and moved over to sit beside him. Tentatively lifting a hand, he placed it on Kaneki's shoulder and cautiously slid it down his back, touching his skin, feeling him until his fingers reached his lower back and rested right over his kakuhou. From even the lightest touch, he could tell how tense it was, Kaneki's kagune ready to burst forth from within. He did such a good job at acting like he was in control, but he was really feeling just as turned on as Tsukiyama himself. A quick glance at the front of Kaneki's loose pants proved that he was correct.

“Is this what you're thinking of?” Tsukiyama asked, rubbing his fingers over his kakuhou. As he continued to rub at it, the spot became softer and more tender, allowing him to tease his fingers into the slit where the wriggling tips of his kagune were begging to be set free. After they had sex again for the first time in so long, Tsukiyama felt bad for Kaneki, having realized that he must have had no one who could satisfy the ghoul in him. He did a fair job at hiding his tendencies, but Kaneki still hungered for fresh meat, still ached for someone who understood what his body wanted, who could even keep up with him without becoming his snack.

Hearing a sweet sigh slip from between Kaneki's slightly parted lips, Tsukiyama knew that he must be on the right track.

“Feels good?” he asked, rubbing his fingers inside.

In response, Kaneki grabbed the front of his shirt and turned to press his face into his shoulder, feeling so good that he was unable to even tell him how much he enjoyed it. His kakuhou having been neglected for so long, it was super sensitive and got extremely wet whenever he touched it for him. It was unfortunate; the thought that Kaneki hadn't even realized that he could alleviate some of his own stress by playing with it on his own.

Unlike his own koukaku, it would be easy for Kaneki to rub at his lower back. Now that he knew how good it felt, Tsukiyama wondered if he played with it while he was alone.

“Ts-Tsukiyama-san...”

He gave a small laugh and nuzzled the top of Kaneki's head. “It must hurt to hold it in. I can already feel it. Just let it out. I'm more than ready for it. Will you give it to me?”

Kaneki pushed himself up, swaying a little unsteadily, and slid off his pants. Drunk on the pleasurable feeling, his eyes looked dazed, his pink lips parted in the most appealing way. Before he could even think, Tsukiyama was leaning in to kiss him. As he did so, he felt Kaneki's kagune slither out from his kakuhou, pushing his hand aside. Giving a low, hungry moan into the kiss, Kaneki pushed him back onto the sofa and climbed on top of him. Breaking the kiss for only a moment, he forced Tsukiyama to turn over, making him present his behind. Knowing what was coming, Tsukiyama's legs quivered as he spread them, lifting his ass up a little higher for him to enter.

As if they had a mind of their own, Kaneki's kagune tentacles wrapped around his body; one curling around one of his legs, another slithering around his waist to hold his hips, while a third simply felt along the line of his body, from his toes to his neck, leaving the glistening, wet fluid from his kakuhou behind to cool his skin.

Pressing his cheek against the cushion, keeping his shoulders down, ass up, Tsukiyama waited, his breaths becoming quicker with each second of anticipation. When Kaneki was ready, he felt the tip of the fourth kagune tentacle nudge between his legs. With his hands, Kaneki spread him open and the tentacle was lifted and began to wriggle its way inside. Having gone far above and beyond the typical preparation, he didn't even need a second to adjust to its size, and, very quickly, he was filled with it, the thick length of it stretching him wide.

Tsukiyama finally let out the breath he'd been holding, moaning happily, overwhelmed by how good it felt. This was precisely what he had been wanting. Ever fibre of him wanted to rock back against him. It was too difficult to keep himself under control when coherent thought was slipping away from him, his whole being consumed by pleasure. Moaning helplessly, hungry for more, he rocked his hips back against the kagune inside of him and begged him to move.

“You're so anxious,” Kaneki laughed, rubbing his thumb around the place where he had him stretched with his kagune. “I promised that I was going to repay you. No need to rush. Although... I'm also feeling anxious to give you your real present.”

Curious to find out what that could possibly mean, Tsukiyama lifted his head and turned to look back at him. When he did, Kaneki pulled his kagune out of him. Its scaly surface dragged against his inner walls, rubbing against his most sensitive places before it was completely removed. Feeling something of such size leave him made him feel like Kaneki was pulling out his insides. Maybe he was. The little bit of pain he felt when he moved it mingled so cleanly with the pleasure he received from it that it made the two feel indistinguishable. Kaneki could have been tearing him apart from the inside out and he would've still had a smile on his face.

Although his kagune was already slick, Kaneki added some more lubricant to it. Tsukiyama made a mental note that they were going to need some more pretty soon with the way they were going through it. A thing of that size needed a lot, though. He appreciated the thought.

Glancing up, Kaneki caught his eyes and held them as he wrapped his hand around himself next, coating himself with it in slow, languid strokes. So transfixed by the sight before him, Tsukiyama didn't put two and two together until Kaneki was readying his cock against his entrance, his kagune held between his legs with its tip nestled beneath his cock, ready to push into him at the same time.

“Vraiment? I-Is this really what you had planned?” he asked, his hips quivering with nervousness, his cock as hard as ever. Another drop of precum dripped from the tip and dampened the cushion beneath him.

Kaneki was the one in control and even he seemed to be surprised by what he was about to do. He held himself and his kagune with one hand, Tsukiyama's hip in the other, and a jittery smile clung to his lips. “This is... really erotic. You're really something.”

“That's all?” Tsukiyama asked, pouting. “Just 'something'? You used to call me a lot of very creative names.”

For a second, Kaneki rolled his head back and looked up at the ceiling as he thought, trying to pull those names out from the deeply hidden archives of his memory. Tsukiyama faced forward and rested his cheek against his arms again, waiting, resigned with the thought that Kaneki wasn't going to be able to recall until he felt the hand on his hip grip him tighter, felt him push in suddenly, and heard Kaneki give a cruel laugh that was so familiar that it made him shudder.

“That's right! You're my bitch. How could I have forgotten when you're shaking your hips like a dog?”

Hearing that tone of voice made Tsukiyama feel like he could cry. To him, Kaneki was always Kaneki no matter how much he remembered, but, even if it were just a fragment that had returned to him for that single moment, it felt like the Kaneki from that time had returned.

He was in much better hands now, though. It was thrilling – the fact that Kaneki could sound like that and make him feel this good while looking out for him at the same time.

His cock inside of him completely, Kaneki took in a breath and let it hiss out from between his teeth. “It's a tight fit. Do you think you can loosen up a little for me?”

Tsukiyama whimpered, feeling the raw burn settling into his hips from being stretched so wide around Kaneki's cock and kagune. He chanced another look back just to see what it looked like, and, although he couldn't see everything perfectly, he saw enough to make him feel a fresh wave of heat roil inside of him. The raw feeling was quickly being transformed into something exquisite simply at the sight of them joined in such a way.

“Try moving. That will help,” he said.

Doing as Tsukiyama recommended, Kaneki slowly moved his hips, keeping his kagune in place to hold him open at its width. For the first few deep thrusts, he really needed to push it in to make it fit, but once Tsukiyama started to notice the unique feeling of Kaneki's skin and scales inside of him, his body began to relax, allowing him to move more freely. With each thrust, it became easier for him until Kaneki was finally able to move his kagune along with the time of his hips, carving out his tight passage.

“That's...” He couldn't even find the words to describe the way that it felt.

Lifting the bottom of Tsukiyama's shirt, Kaneki pushed his hand underneath and ran it over his back. His fingers stroked along his spine, over his sides, and eventually came up to tease the area over his kakuhou. While Kaneki continued to move inside of him, he lightly scratched at that spot, coaxing his kakuhou into softening, the skin of his shoulder blade becoming slick around his kakuhou. Tsukiyama bit down on his lower lip and tried to keep his kagune from releasing. He really didn't want to ruin yet another shirt, but he also just enjoyed the way that it felt to have his kakuhou played with. It was a much different experience compared to what it felt to have the area around it touched once his kagune was out. The soft inside of it was something like an erogenous zone, giving him a sort of pleasant tingling sensation through his back and chest that he couldn't experience any other way.

“That's it. Now it's loose,” Kaneki said, his voice low and rough from his efforts.

The maddening rhythm of Kaneki's hips and kagune inside of him were starting to make Tsukiyama feel as if he were under a spell, his mind floating away, leaving his body in a place that knew only the feeling of Kaneki's body on top of his. After spending years locked in a seemingly endless spiral of misery, this feeling was like nothing short of heaven to him; a blessed reward for his pain.

He clawed at the couch cushions and buried his face in them, no longer caring about how loud his voice was as he cried out. He could feel Kaneki's cock nudging him in just the right spot, but his kagune was big and capable of going much farther, reaching deeper, into places that Kaneki had never touched before. With his eyes closed, he could feel it twisting and wriggling inside of him, and he imagined it coiling along the shape of his insides as it burrowed deeper and deeper. Judging by Kaneki's ragged breaths, he was enjoying the added sensation of it just as much as he was.

“You really like that? It isn't too much?” Kaneki asked.

Tsukiyama shook his head and forced himself to speak, as difficult as it seemed. “It's good. I feel... I feel so much.”

That had to be the understatement of the century, yet it perfectly described the way he was feeling. He felt everything; Kaneki's body, warm next to his, the tight sensation that simultaneously brought him to heaven and threatened to tear him in half, and, above all else, he felt happy. Kaneki was there with him.

“ _Kaneki-kun_ ,” he cried, his body aching, on the verge of climax and breaking.

“It's too much,” Kaneki bit out, his nails biting into his skin. “I'm going to come.”

Reaching back, Tsukiyama grasped one of the hands that Kaneki had on his hip and held it as Kaneki came. His movements came to an abrupt stop and Tsukiyama felt the warm pulse of his cum inside of him as it pooled around the shape of his kagune. For a few moments that followed, Kaneki stayed still, allowing Tsukiyama to hold his hand. He even released his hip so he could hold his hand back and use his other hand to soothingly stroke his back, avoiding his kakuhou which was now much too sensitive.

Easing back, he slipped his cock out of him, but left his kagune inside. Wet with cum and other slick fluids, he began to move it again, uncurling the other tentacles that he held around his limbs so that he could caress his body with them, gently easing him closer to his climax. One of them slid between his legs just to rub lazily against his cock, and Tsukiyama rubbed himself against it in return, using it to finally take the last step off the edge that sent him head-first into a blinding orgasm.

His hand tightened around Kaneki's and his body tightly held his kagune inside of him until the final waves of pleasure ebbed away, leaving him feeling exhausted and satisfied.

Being careful, Kaneki slowly removed his kagune from him and Tsukiyama felt each and every inch of it as it was pulled out. Once it was gone, he was left feeling open and stretched, but all of his muscles felt relaxed and loose. He laid on his stomach on the sofa and felt like he could be content to stay that way for the remainder of the evening as long as Kaneki would stay there with him.

In reality, he knew that he would have to get up and clean himself up along with the mess he'd made before he could get back to relaxing. Kaneki wouldn't be happy if he stayed there, hiding the stains on the sofa.

“Did you like my present?” Kaneki asked. His fingers slid from Tsukiyama's, but he only moved as far as the side of the couch so he could kneel to pet his hair.

Tsukiyama turned his head to look at him. Feeling awkward to be laying in that position suddenly, he sat up and leaned in to kiss the corner of Kaneki's mouth. “I enjoyed it a lot,” he said.

Kaneki smiled, looking genuinely happy. “I'm glad. I'm happy that I'm able to make you feel good, Tsukiyama-san.” He glanced away for a second, then tried to meet his eyes with more confidence. “Happy Valentine's Day.”

Realizing that he hadn't actually wished Kaneki the same in return, he felt a little stupid, so he corrected that quickly. “Happy Valentine's Day, Kaneki-kun,” he said. His heart began to pound, then race, reminding him that there was more he wanted to say. On a day like Valentine's Day, it only seemed fair that he be allowed to say it, so, gathering the necessary courage, he kept looking into Kaneki's eyes and told him the words that he felt he could never say enough.

There was no change in Kaneki's expression. He still looked at him just as fondly. Putting his arms around Tsukiyama's shoulders, he leaned in to return his kiss and returned his words to him as well, repeating them softly against his lips.

Tsukiyama already thought that he was lucky. Having thought for a long time that Kaneki was gone, it felt like a plain miracle that he was there before him, and to hear him return his affection...

Tsukiyama was more than lucky.

He was happy.


End file.
